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Detours to Nowhere
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Detour to Nowhere: The Upper Hutt Adventure

Or: How I accidentally fare-evaded and almost bought a dress with Skull Cherries.

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Woke up with exactly zero plans. South Island felt like too much. I shuffled through the folder Lois and Andrew left on the counter and spotted a line about Rivendell filming locations near Upper Hutt.

Three days in? Time to do something vaguely LOTR. Found a bus timetable. Aimed for the 81 to Courtenay.

Weekend schedule curveball. Luckily, I was still 10 minutes early.

A family showed up with two dogs. Kids ran screaming across the beach. I was watching the chaos when my bus pulled up. Almost missed it. Strong start.

Finding Petone Station (Blindly)

Got off at Petone. Needed to transfer to the train.

No Wi-Fi. No working map. So I walked in a random direction, hoping the Force (or Google Maps ghosts) would guide me.

I haven't seen Andrew or Lois in days. Might bake them a pie next week as a peace offering-slash-update beacon.

Wandered into some construction and bad vibes. Eventually hit the shop Andrew dragged me to on Day One—so at least I wasn’t totally lost.

Saw tracks. Saw a building that looked rail-adjacent. Closed on weekends. Of course.

Luckily, some locals loitering near the tracks gave me hope. Found the right platform. Crossed a few streets. Up a ramp. Felt like I was winning.

Surprise: You’re on a Train

Train pulls in. I hop on, card ready.

No card reader.

An attendant floats by. Doesn’t check anything. Doesn’t even look at me. I sit silently, questioning reality.

Raven WTF:
Am I stealing train rides now? Is this how my villain arc starts?

Sat behind some college students arguing about drinking and some guy named Blake. Never saw their faces. Just heard gripes through the seat cracks. Classic background NPCs.

We passed a lake between Waterloo and Petone. It had seagulls and everything. No photo. You’re just gonna have to believe me.

Upper Hutt: Definitely Not Rivendell

I get off at Upper Hutt. The station is basically deserted, dropped into a budget movie set.

One nearby shopping center. Vibes: aggressively mediocre.

Still trying to salvage the quest, I wander into town, praying for Wi-Fi and second breakfast. Nothing connects. Even McDonald’s fails me. (The betrayal.)

Cafes were closed, meat-heavy, or full of people loudly arguing with the air.

Raven HYPE:
There was a dress in a window—black halter, red skulls, pin-up energy. Almost went in. Didn’t. Regret pending.
Eventually gave up. Returned to the station. Checked the board. Saw a train to Wellington coming. Got on it without hesitation.

So… I stole a Train Ride (Again?)

On the way back, I read the train signage more carefully.

Yeah. I definitely wasn’t supposed to board for free. Apparently, there’s a whole process for paying fares.

Oops? Mea Culpa.

Two women working the return train eyed me briefly, but nobody said a word.

Raven LOL:
If I wasn’t trying to sneak onto trains, would I be doing anything right at all?

Worth It? Kinda.

Did I reach Rivendell? No. Did I commit casual public transport fraud? Probably. Did I get to people-watch and stare at pretty hills for a few hours? Absolutely.

What I Learned (So You Don’t Get Stranded at Upper Hutt)

  • Weekend bus schedules are a trap.
  • Petone Station exists, but only if you believe hard enough.
  • If no one stops you from boarding the train… that doesn’t mean it’s free.
  • “Upper Hutt” sounds magical. It’s not.
  • Never underestimate the emotional power of a pin-up skull dress.
  • Trains in New Zealand are quieter than my inner panic.